On Tuesday night, Dan and I broke up.
There was no cheating. No unhappy feelings. No not-getting-along. From the outside looking in, we had a great relationship. Hell, even from the inside we had a great relationship. But something was missing, and I never could quite put my finger on it.
I brought up my thoughts on our relationship, and he agreed. Something really was missing. He was able to put it in words better than I could.
“When we both lived in Michigan, we were both unhappy because we were just starting out and not quite doing what we want to do. Moving to Minnesota has helped me find my happiness here through my research and the things that I do, but you haven’t found yours yet. I needed support to reach the place I am at now, and you were there for me every step of the way. Unfortunately for us, what you need is space — and I am willing to give that to you.”
I am not one to say that our 2 year and 4 month relationship was a waste. I take everything as a learning opportunity because, no matter what I am doing, I am learning about myself in one way or another. And I learned a lot with Dan. He pushed me to be a better person and supported me no matter what I was doing.
But there are only so many things you can learn in a relationship. At some point, you need to take a step out of your comfort zone and learn to live on your own. Since starting college, I was a “serial monogomist” and went from one serious relationship to the next in a matter of weeks. And lately, with all of this talk of marriage and forever, I don’t think I’ll really be ready until I get the chance to try this out.
I’m not going to go into every facet of the breakup here, but to put it plainly… I am very sad.
I am sure that I will be for a very long time.
For the last week, I have been listening to two songs over and over again. I respond to music. If any of you are having trouble with something in your life, maybe these songs can give you some much needed strength as well.
10 Responses to “Ouch”
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(((HUG)))
I’m glad that you were able to part amicably. Praying for God’s comfort for you!
thank you
Aww. I’m sad for you, and I don’t even know you.
. So, all the best through the healing process. I am amazed at how well you seem to be handling this.
Music is important. Keep a playlist in your head.
Thanks – I’m surprised at how well I’m handling it too. I give a lot of credit to John Mayer
So glad to hear that you parted on good terms. Things could have ended a lot worse, not very comforting I know. Hopefully you are able to find that missing piece while you are here. If not, there are lots of great ice cream places in the Twin Cities
And you know how I love my music, those two songs are fantastic. Good choices to listen to right now. Blessings! -Heather
Funny you mention the ice cream places. The day after we broke up, I asked the group of people I usually go out to lunch with to take me to the Grand Ole Creamery so I could get some.
And I really do hope I find that “missing piece”… I’d hate to find out I did this for nothing.
John Mayer is what worked for me, too, so yay for a different thing to have in common
And you’re not gonna find you did this for nothing. I promise
Thanks Donald
It sounds like you are doing ok and seeing everything so clearly Heather. Good for you. You are much stronger and wiser than I would be in a similar situation.
After your last “Figure things out” post, I wondered…These situations are always tough, and I’m thinking of you as you move through this difficult time. There are lessons here that won’t be apparent until much later, and you’ll uncover them in exactly the right moment. If you need a Pacific Northwest escape to a sympathetic stranger’s house, just say the word…