NaBloPoMo/30 Days of Truth – Day 3 – Something I Have to Forgive Myself For

Nov 042010

Day 03 – Something you have to forgive yourself for

In high school, I was lucky enough to have not just one, but two best friends: Samantha and Donald.


From left to right: Sam, me, and Donald

Sam was treated like my best friend, but for some reason… even though I was still able to talk to Donald about anything and everything and he was an incredible friend to me, I treated him like dirt.  The joke would be that I was destroying his self esteem because we were going to build it up even stronger… but we just never got around to building it back up.  Obviously, we had a twisted sense of humor since that is a pretty shitty joke.

I was mean for no good reason (is there ever a good reason?).  I made fun of someone that I considered a best friend on a consistent basis and made him doubt everything about himself.  Then I up-and-left for college and never looked back.

You’ve seen him here at my blog.  He posts under the name of “Spanks” and he is even the one who asked “Will You Marry Me?” in my formspring box.  I’m lucky he’s still here for me since he was kicked around in the dirt for so long.  I am sure he will say “no big deal” and “I’m fine”, but that doesn’t make the guilt go away.

That time was years ago, and since then our friendship has morphed into one of support.  I am happy that he is still in my life in the role of someone very important to me.  However, I still can’t help but feel remorse for the hard time I gave him so many years ago.  I try not to dwell on the past much, but some days it hits me, and I can’t help but feel regret.

So, Donald, I’m sorry.  You are a great person, and I hope you realize how much you mean to me.  Thank you for being the bigger person.

NaBloPoMo/30 Days of Truth – Day 2 – Something I Love About Myself

Nov 032010

Day 02  - Something you love about yourself

No matter where I end up in life, no matter how many mistakes I make, and no matter how many times I fall flat on my face, I can take solace in knowing that I did what I thought was right in every situation.

I am human and occasionally I will slip up, but my “home base” is that of someone who is honest and caring.

I am a good person.

I have integrity.

NaBloPoMo/30 Days of Truth - Day 1 - Something I Hate About Myself

Nov 022010

For the month of November, I’ll be participating in NaBloPoMo (I know I did it before, but November is typically the “accepted” month for it).  To help me through it, I will complete a series of questions that has been making its rounds through personal blogs.  They go by the name “30 Days of Truth”.  Each day I’ll answer a different question, and the questions are as follows:

Day 01 Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11  Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12  Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13  A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17  A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21  (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do? If you had to join the witness protection program, who would you become, where would you go, what would you do and why?
Day 22 Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

I changed question 21 because I thought it was stupid.  There is no possible way you could even comprehend being in that situation until you are standing in it, soaking in the guilt and the loss.  Instead, I replaced it with something fun.

I will answer one question a day, and should I feel the need to post something else in addition, I will do so.  But, by doing these questions, I have a writing prompt for every day this month.  Since there are 30 days in November and we’re already on the 2nd, one day you’ll get the magical treat of two questions being answered!!! Luckkkyyyyyyyy

Let’s get started!

Day 01 – Something You Hate About Yourself

When I was in high school, my Mom bought me some Ginko Biloba to help me with my memory.  I would forget to do assignments, constantly misplace items, and entire conversations would slip my mind.  We had hoped that the ginko biloba would help me with my memory problem.

Joke’s on us.  I kept forgetting to take it.

My short-term memory leaves much to be desired, and I struggle with it every day.  I will hold things in my hand to find them missing 20 seconds later.  I am always late for things because I continuously forget about appointments.  I go to the grocery store and forget why I went in the first place.  I forget conversations I had with people.  Occasionally, I forget the promises that I make.  I realize that everybody has their moments when they forget or misplace, but this is not “once in awhile” for me.  This is 6 or 7 times every day of my life.

I have done things to help myself with this problem.  I do my best to write everything down.  I play memory games hoping that I will help it: this includes going through the grocery store without referencing my shopping list to see what I can remember to buy and then comparing my items with the list before check-out.  I keep things in a specific place so I don’t have to worry about flipping over everything I own when in search of it later.  These tactics usually work.

Sometimes I do forget exactly what I did 1 minute after walking in my apartment so that I can find my keys.  Sometimes I forget that, in the middle of getting ready for work in the morning, I walked back into my bedroom to grab something and left my phone there.  Then I tear apart every room searching for my phone except for the bedroom because I have no reason to believe that it’s there.

Usually I take it in stride because, as I’ve said, I’ve lived with it for years and have more-or-less gotten used to it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have my breakdowns.   Some days, I just can’t take the frustration.  I have been reduced to tears over food I forgot I was cooking and crucial things I never did.

Typically, I am the most optimistic person you will ever meet.  I am filled to the brim with rainbows and sunshine.

…But only when I remember.

> Insert Really Depressing Title Here <

Aug 132010

Now that my blog has become the most depressing space on the interweb, I find it appropriate to keep going with these little updates about how things are going for me emotionally.  Afterall – it’s not like this can get any more depressing than it already is.

As I’ve said many times before, writing is how I deal with doubts, insecurities, and thoughts I can’t seem to let go of.  Admittedly, I suppose I am being a bit of a drama queen about this whole thing.  It’s not like we had a house, four kids, two dogs, and a life together.  We had an apartment, one dog, and a big screen tv.**  But this whole thing still sucks (for the lack of a better word).  This morning I found myself forgetting why we broke up in the first place.  Then I spent the rest of the day moping around, second guessing, and suffering from thoughts in my head that couldn’t sit still and give me a moment of silence.

And then, when I was venting to my friend Joe, he found it appropriate to say, “I totally thought you guys were going to get married”.  WHOA… GEE… THANKS…  I always appreciate it when someone cuts me right across the chest with a jagged and rusty blade, runs out to buy the biggest package of salt available at Sams Club, empties all of the salt into my fresh wound, and then rubs it in there so that not a bit of it is wasted — it is forced into the cut in a way that allows  every individual granule to cause me an awful, resonating pain.  Next time maybe he can grab some lemon juice to spray directly into my eyes, too.  REAL COOL, BRO.

I also forgot to mention that I was given a $4000 Vera Wang wedding dress the day after breaking up.  No joke.  It was 100% free and is hanging in my closet right now.  Of course the women who gave it to me had no idea that less than 24 hours ago I had broken up with a guy I once talked about marriage with… or that it doesn’t fit and I will need to lose about 5 lbs before I can zip it (not only could I feel lonely… I got to feel fat too!)… and they couldn’t possibly know that I would try it on as soon as I got home and tear up over how pretty it was and my lack of places to wear it.  They were actually really sweet when I told them what happened, and they are totally cool with me selling it.  But I just thought the timing was incredible.  Seriously.  Who does that happen to?

I am handling this well.  I really am.

I started doing Yoga, and while it has been strenuous for me physically, I have found it soothing emotionally.  My friends like to joke about the silly things they say (ex. “breathe out the impurities”), but I typically find myself trying to follow the instruction that they give.  I do my best to inhale the best I have to offer and to exhale the things that keep me from being happy.  In the last week and a half, I have been able to focus entire on me.  It is no longer “What’s best for us?”  Now it is “What do I want to do?”

When I was at dinner with a friend on Wednesday, we started to talk about the movie Eat, Pray, Love.  I mentioned how I kind of wanted to go on a solo vacation, and she excitedly proclaimed, “I did that once and it was fantastic!”  Apparently she went to Hawaii with a stack of books and spent an entire week there.  She went to the beach every day and didn’t have to ask anybody else for their opinion.  It was weird, she said, but a great experience.  “No matter where you end up going, you will learn a lot about yourself.”  Suddenly Take a vacation by myself is on my bucket list.

Hmm…

Well anyway, after rereading the beginning of what I have written here, I think I should mention that I am really not an emotional wreck.  The fourth paragraph (about the wedding dress) was written because… lets be honest… who does that happen to?  It is kind of sad, but at the same time very funny to me.  The 3rd paragraph was written because my friends have the best intentions, but they say silly things sometimes.  Also… I am pretty sure Joe reads this so he might appreciate a shout-out about how insensitive he sometimes is (and one of my favorite things to do is give him a hard time).  The 2nd paragraph is honest to what I’m feeling.  I’m not depressed and I’d like to think that those thoughts come with any breakup.

So, in case anyone was worried, my sense of humor is still intact and I am still the happy-go-lucky person I have always been :-)

Besides all of that, I have a wedding to attend tomorrow.  I thought about wearing my new wedding dress to it, but I heard that wearing white to a wedding is rude.  Maybe a birthday party is coming up.

**In case anyone was wondering, Dan and I are going to move out of our shared apartment and into separate places beginning on Sunday.  I get the television and the dog.  He gets the desk that I spilled ink all over.  I definitely won in the “who gets what” game.

Ouch

Aug 052010

On Tuesday night, Dan and I broke up.

There was no cheating.  No unhappy feelings.  No not-getting-along. From the outside looking in, we had a great relationship.  Hell, even from the inside we had a great relationship.  But something was missing, and I never could quite put my finger on it.

I brought up my thoughts on our relationship, and he agreed.  Something really was missing.  He was able to put it in words better than I could.

“When we both lived in Michigan, we were both unhappy because we were just starting out and not quite doing what we want to do.  Moving to Minnesota has helped me find my happiness here through my research and the things that I do, but you haven’t found yours yet.  I needed support to reach the place I am at now, and you were there for me every step of the way.  Unfortunately for us, what you need is space — and I am willing to give that to you.”

I am not one to say that our 2 year and 4 month relationship was a waste.  I take everything as a learning opportunity because, no matter what I am doing, I am learning about myself in one way or another.  And I learned a lot with Dan.  He pushed me to be a better person and supported me no matter what I was doing. 

But there are only so many things you can learn in a relationship.  At some point, you need to take a step out of your comfort zone and learn to live on your own.  Since starting college, I was a “serial monogomist” and went from one serious relationship to the next in a matter of weeks.  And lately, with all of this talk of marriage and forever, I don’t think I’ll really be ready until I get the chance to try this out.

I’m not going to go into every facet of the breakup here, but to put it plainly… I am very sad. 

I am sure that I will be for a very long time.

For the last week, I have been listening to two songs over and over again.  I respond to music.  If any of you are having trouble with something in your life, maybe these songs can give you some much needed strength as well.

Way Too Nerdy Thursdays :: Engineers Explained

Jul 082010

People who work in the fields of science and technology are not like other people. This can be frustrating to the nontechnical people who have to deal with them. The secret to coping with technology-oriented people is to understand their motivations. This chapter will teach you everything you need to know. I learned their customs and mannerisms by observing them, much the way Jane Goodall learned about the great apes, but without the hassle of grooming.

Engineering is so trendy these days that everybody wants to be one. The word “engineer” is greatly overused. If there’s somebody in your life who you think is trying to pass as an engineer, give him this test to discern the truth.

ENGINEER IDENTIFICATION TEST
—————————-
You walk into a room and notice that a picture is hanging crooked. You…
A. Straighten it.
B. Ignore it.
C. Buy a CAD system and spend the next six months designing a solar-powered, self-adjusting picture frame while often stating aloud your belief that the inventor of the nail was a total moron.

The correct answer is “C” but partial credit can be given to anybody who writes “It depends” in the margin of the test or simply blames the whole stupid thing on “Marketing.”

SOCIAL SKILLS
————-
Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social interaction.

“Normal” people expect to accomplish several unrealistic things from social interaction:

* Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation
* Important social contacts
* A feeling of connectedness with other humans

In contrast to “normal” people, engineers have rational objectives for social interactions:

* Get it over with as soon as possible.
* Avoid getting invited to something unpleasant.
* Demonstrate mental superiority and mastery of all subjects.

FASCINATION WITH GADGETS
————————
To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two categories: (1) things that need to be fixed, and (2) things that will need to be fixed after you’ve had a few minutes to play with them. Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems. Normal people don’t understand this concept; they believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.

No engineer looks at a television remote control without wondering what it would take to turn it into a stun gun. No engineer can take a shower without wondering if some sort of Teflon coating would make showering unnecessary. To the engineer, the world is a toy box full of sub-optimized and feature-poor toys.

FASHION AND APPEARANCE
———————-
Clothes are the lowest priority for an engineer, assuming the basic thresholds for temperature and decency have been satisfied. If no appendages are freezing or sticking together, and if no genitalia or mammary glands are swinging around in plain view, then the objective of clothing has been met. Anything else is a waste.

LOVE OF “STAR TREK”
——————
Engineers love all of the “Star Trek” television shows and movies. It’s a small wonder, since the engineers on the starship Enterprise are portrayed as heroes, occasionally even having sex with aliens. This is much more glamorous than the real life of an engineer, which consists of hiding from the universe and having sex without the participation of other life forms.

DATING AND SOCIAL LIFE
———————-
Dating is never easy for engineers. A normal person will employ various indirect and duplicitous methods to create a false impression of attractiveness. Engineers are incapable of placing appearance above function.

Fortunately, engineers have an ace in the hole. They are widely recognized as superior marriage material: intelligent, dependable, employed, honest, and handy around the house. While it’s true that many normal people would prefer not to date an engineer, most normal people harbor an intense desire to mate with them, thus producing engineerlike children who will have high-paying jobs long before losing their virginity.

Male engineers reach their peak of sexual attractiveness later than normal men, becoming irresistible erotic dynamos in their mid thirties to late forties. Just look at these examples of sexually irresistible men in technical professions:

* Bill Gates.
* MacGyver.
* Etcetera.

Female engineers become irresistible at the age of consent and remain that way until about thirty minutes after their clinical death. Longer if it’s a warm day.

HONESTY
——-
Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and human relationships. That’s why it’s a good idea to keep engineers away from customers, romantic interests, and other people who can’t handle the truth.

Engineers sometimes bend the truth to avoid work. They say things that sound like lies but technically are not because nobody could be expected to believe them. The complete list of engineer lies is listed below.

“I won’t change anything without asking you first.” “I’ll return your hard-to-find cable tomorrow.” “I have to have new equipment to do my job.” “I’m not jealous of your new computer.”

FRUGALITY
———
Engineers are notoriously frugal. This is not because of cheapness or mean spirit; it is simply because every spending situation is simply a problem in optimization, that is, “How can I escape this situation while retaining the greatest amount of cash?”

POWERS OF CONCENTRATION
———————–
If there is one trait that best defines an engineer it is the ability to concentrate on one subject to the complete exclusion of everything else in the environment. This sometimes causes engineers to be pronounced dead prematurely. Some funeral homes in high-tech areas have started checking resumes before processing the bodies. Anybody with a degree in electrical engineering or experience in computer programming is propped up in the lounge for a few days just to see if he or she snaps out of it.

RISK
———————
Engineers hate risk. They try to eliminate it whenever they can. This is understandable, given that when an engineer makes one little mistake the media will treat it like it’s a big deal or something.

Examples of bad press for engineers:

* Hindenberg.
* Space Shuttle Challenger.
* SPANet(tm)
* Hubble space telescope.
* Apollo 13.
* Titanic.
* Ford Pinto.
* Corvair.

The risk/reward calculation for engineers looks something like this:

RISK: Public humiliation and the death of thousands of innocent people.

REWARD: A certificate of appreciation in a handsome plastic frame.

Being practical people, engineers evaluate this balance of risks and rewards and decide that risk is not a good thing. The best way to avoid risk is by advising that any activity is technically impossible for reasons that are far too complicated to explain.

If that approach is not sufficient to halt project, then the engineer will fall back to a second line of defense: “It’s technically possible but it will cost too much.”

EGO
————————-
Ego-wise, two things are important to engineers:

* How smart they are.
* How many cool devices they own.

The fastest way to get an engineer to solve a problem is to declare that the problem is unsolvable. No engineer can walk away from an unsolvable problem until it’s solved. No illness or distraction is sufficient to get the engineer off the case. These types of challenges quickly become personal–a battle between the engineer and the laws of nature.

Engineers will go without food and hygiene for days to solve a problem. (Other times just because they forgot.) And when they succeed in solving the problem they will experience an ego rush that is better than sex–and I’m including the kind of sex where other people are involved.

Nothing is more threatening to the engineer than the suggestion that somebody has more technical skill. Normal people sometimes use that knowledge as a lever to extract more work from the engineer. When an engineer says that something can’t be done (a code phrase that means it’s not fun to do), some clever normal people have learned to glance at the engineer with a look of compassion and pity and say something along these lines: “I’ll ask Bob to figure it out. He knows how to solve difficult technical problems.”

At that point it is a good idea for the normal person to not stand between the engineer and the problem. The engineer will set upon the problem like a starved Chihuahua on a pork chop.

[Not sure who gets credit for this... I didn't write it... and all of the humor sites online didn't give a source either. One said it MIGHT have been written by Scott Adams]

My Daily Evolution

May 132010

My post Beauty: Where Our Perception Comes From follows a model as she undergoes some heavy makeup, hair, and photoshopping for a billboard ad.  It’s pretty interesting to see what it takes to make someone look “perfect”.

Shortly after, I discussed my own insecurities regarding my own appearance in The Addiction to Appearance.  I talked about my daily routine and how the way I look reflects how I feel about myself on any given day.

My friend Don Keylips wanted to see me without makeup since he has known me for years and has never seen it.  And since I made this blog to keep track of myself and any strides in confidence I make, I thought this might be a good place to put it.

Also, I thought it might be fun to see how my face changes throughout the makeup process.  I tend to go the natural route (especially for work), so my face doesn’t change much.  I originally took a picture after every step, but I figured 11 pictures might be a little much… so I condensed it down to 5.

So be sure to imagine me taking a deep breath before hitting “publish”… because that’s exactly what I am going to do.

Clean faced:

+ Foundation, Concealer & Powder

+ Eyeshadow, Black Eyeliner on top & White Eyeliner on bottom

+ Straightened hair, Blush, Eyebrow Pencil, Lip Gloss & Lip Stick

+ Curled Eyelashes, Mascara & Hair pinned back (and I’m ready to go!)

And I will be honest with all of you. I have about a hundred photos of myself on my camera from days and days of prepping for this… I was sure to pick what I considered the best “no-makeup” version of myself to share with the world.

And one more thing. I’m not fishing for compliments or criticisms.  This is just a step I’m taking to get over the hurdle that has been evading me for a long time.  It’s silly, I know, but it’s something I struggle with.

April Resolutions... Le Sigh

May 012010

On December 31st, I declared my New Years Resolution:  Make monthly resolutions.

I think that most of you know the drill by now. This April, I made myself some goals. Lets see how I did!

  • Run 3 miles by the end of the month - DONE! I will be completely honest, though. I ran a total of 3 times this month. The first time I went a little over a mile. The second time I went two miles. The third time? Well that occurred about an hour ago just so I could say I did this. I am going to regret it tomorrow when I can’t even get out of bed tomorrow because the pain is so intense.
  • Post more often – Uhh.. NO. It’s tied. After this post, I will have posted 13 times this month. In the month of March, I posted 13 times. The goal was to post MORE (not the same)… so this is a fail.
  • Eat 1 fruit a day - ABSOLUTELY! And everybody told me this goal was kind of lame. But whatever. This goal was the only thing that got me to eat fruit on some days.
  • Continue to stay credit card debt free – I forgot I made this a goal……. and I totally FAILED :(
  • Build savings – COMPLETED. Please don’t rob me.
  • Read 1 book – … If I said FAIL would anybody really be surprised?
  • Keep my google calendar up to date – COMPLETED. And it definitely saved me once in awhile, too.

4 out of 7 accomplished. One of these days, I will be able to say I completed all of them.

Way Too Nerdy Thursday :: The Day I Realized I Was A Nerd

Apr 292010

For a long time throughout college, I felt that I was the least nerdy engineering major there. I had never made a trebuchet, I didn’t build my own computer, and I couldn’t tell you about the history of the automobile.

Simply put, I chose an engineering school because I didn’t know what else to choose.  I no longer wanted to be a journalist (I hated my journalism class in high school), but I knew that I really liked science and math.  My neighbors went to Kettering University for engineering, so sure, why shouldn’t I go too.

As time went on, I grew to like engineering. All of the analyzing, all of the logic, all of the sensible people around me… it made me happy.  But I still didn’t consider myself nerdy.  I didn’t talk heat transfer or machinery in my spare time.  Sure, I enjoyed learning about it, but I never got excited.  Nothing ever got me riled up in a way that only something you are truly emotionally attached to can.

Anyway, our schedule process required that we make our course schedules 4 months in advance.  As soon as schedules are finalized, people will post them on facebook — it’s fun to see who is in your class and to see which of your friends were unfortunate enough to get the toughest professors.  One of my friends was taking a fluids class over our winter term, and a few people were commenting on it.  “Oh man, you got THAT PROFESSOR?! See you in the summer!” I probably said something along the lines of “I wish I could feel sorry for you, but man up.”

But then this guy that I had ever heard of piped up. He said, “How are you going to take a fluids class in the winter? Won’t all of the water freeze? LOL!”

I read the stranger’s comment… and I became angry.  I wasn’t angry because he had capitalized “LOL” and followed it with an exclamation mark like some kind of asshat.  I wasn’t mad because he asked a stupid question.  I wasn’t mad because he just made the worst joke I had ever read.  I was mad because he implied that all fluids were liquids.  And it wasn’t like a “what an idiot” kind of mad.  I was legimately angry.  I wanted to correct him by slapping him in the face and asking if the oxygen he was breathing freezes in the winter… since gasses are a fluid… because it might do us all a favor if that were the case. 

Of course I didn’t say anything (I’m far too nice), but I realized I was angry about something that most people don’t get very angry about… afterall, how can you expect people without classes completely devoted to fluids to know that?

But then I laughed.  I laughed because that was my first nerdy moment.

Goodbye, English. Hello, BRB - AFK - ROTFLMFAO LOLlercopterz

Apr 052010

One of the gentlemen that work with me has a big chip on his shoulder — that chip goes by the name of TECHNOLOGY. He complains incessantly about how my generation (as he is about 45 years old) sucks at verbal communication because of our dependence on things like e-mail and text messaging.

The other day, I sent him an e-mail (despite him sitting about 30 feet away from me — he hates when people do that) to rile him up. I do things like this because, admittedly, I get a little bored sometimes. PLUS the guy is hilarious when he gets upset because he is one of those people that speaks WAY TOO LOUD on every occassion.

“Mike, would you like some coffee?”
“WHY YES, I WOULD LIKE SOME COFFEE THANKS”

“Hi Mike, how’s it going?”
“GREAT, HOW ARE YOU?”
“Okay, until my ear drums were blasted out from the volume of your voice during the single sentence exchange that is this conversation”
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA”

The best part was that, after reading my email, throwing paper at me, calling me a smartass, and wondering out loud why anybody likes me, he commended me for my writing skills. Talk about irony.

Despite all of the harassment I endure for being a part of Generation Y and despite all of the fighting I do to try to put our generation as a whole in Mike’s good graces, I kind of agree with his problem with us. He thinks that we are wasting away the english language with our “LOL”s and “BRB”s. Suddenly, “you”=”u” and “are”=”r”. Nobody can spell any more and we all have the vocabulary of 5th graders. I used the word “crass” the other day and felt like the smartest human being in the world. NEWSFLASH TO ME: Crass isn’t all that impressive given the grand scheme of things. But, because somehow my generation has lost the ability to use a basic dictionary, it suddenly is.

Unfortunately, Generation Y has become known for avoiding social interaction in the physical sense. We text, we IM, we blog. We don’t need to go out any more because we have our computers, internet, and cell phones. Hell, we barely need a talk function on our cell phone because we’ve got texting. Suddenly, we’re a joke to all of the older generations because we can’t speak in public situations. We are the socially inept, forever doomed to avoid eye contact and stutter in the middle of every sentence that passes our lips.

I’m not writing to discuss possible solutions to the minimal vocabulary of the Echo Boomers. I’m not writing to say that Mike is wrong or right about us (and he’s probably closer to right since I came close to spelling it “write”. UGH!). I’m also not writing to say that we NEED to change (although we probably do). I’m just writing to bring awareness to anybody reading this and also to myself. After fighting so many hours with Mike about where we stand as a society and where we’re headed as soon as my generation takes over, I need to remind myself that I’m not living in la-la land as far as our socially awkward presentation. I get him riled up because it’s funny, not because everything I say is true.

My way of combatting the de-evolution of our language? Don’t shorten things to single letters. “Are” is “are”. “You” is “you”. “Why” is “why”. I know the difference between “two”, “to” and “too” and I’m not going to forget it. Sure, I’m not going to change the world through a single text message, but at least I can still live with myself. I acknowledge that my grammar may not be the best, that I may misspell the occassional word, and that I can get a little crazy with commas… but I’m going to pat myself on the back anyway for trying. And sure, I do get a little awkward in situations and I do get bouts of anxiety when I’m about to enter a room full of people, but doesn’t trying count for anything? I do my best to throw myself out there and take myself out of my comfort zone.

Here’s to complete sentences and doing your best to make every situation less awkward than the next!

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